Hope Comes After the Darkness
by Hazelnut18
Summary: It was all his fault. Peter blamed himself. His Aunt was in a coma because of him. How does Peter find hope after this tragedy and all those that follow? -This story has no Endgame spoilers- -Cover image by Spiderstan -
1. Chapter 1

**Hey guys. Welcome to my first story. I hope you enjoy.**

**Please I beg do NOT give Endgame spoilers. Some people haven't seen it yet. If you want to talk about Endgame then message me.**

**The fabulous cover is by Spiderstan_ on instagram. Please go look at their art. It is amazing.**

**This story starts after Homecoming where May knows who Spider Man is.**

**Please tell me if you like it.**

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**CHAPTER ONE**

**Peter's PoV:**

I didn't know what to do. I didn't care about care about my sleeping routine. Ned knew something was wrong. She asked me if I was good. I'd say yes but I wasn't. I was so tired. So extremely tired. No coffee or tea could provide me enough caffeine to allow me to survive the day.

"Dude, seriously! Are you not sleeping?" Ned shouted in a whisper to me when my head nearly slammed against the table for the third time.

"No. I'm getting enough sleep." I told him. It was fine. Okay, maybe I wasn't sleeping as much. It didn't really matter with all that was going on. I already had less sleep than most people due to my late-night adventures as the friendly neighbourhood Spider Man. What was a few less hours sleep?

"Sure, if you think two hours sleep is enough" Ned scoffed.

"What! How'd you know I got two hours sleep?"

"I didn't. I guessed." Ned replied "Look, Peter I don't know what's going on, but I know you. I know when you are tired it's because something is bothering you. So please, just tell me what's wrong." Ned begged.

"Nothing" It's not like I had to tell him. He had no business asking me what was wrong. I quickly grabbed my bag and stormed out of the room when the school bell rung signalling the end to another way too long day.

"Peter!" I heard Ned calling to me from behind. I ignored him wanting to get away before he found out I wasn't going home. He couldn't know.

I ran out of the school, hopping onto the first bus and getting off two stops later. I nervously fidgeted when I rounded the corner. I hated being here. Sighing I entered the large building hating that I was here. The large sign didn't help. It clearly read 'Queens Hospital'

I knew where to go now. I signed in at the desk, grabbed my visitors pass and headed straight for room 18. I peeked in through the window and upon seeing no one was there I entered and closed the door behind me.

"Hi Aunt May" I whispered trying to fight back tears. "I know you can't control when you wake up but it's day three. I know you will wake up. I need you to." I sat down on a stool next to her bed. Slowly I placed my shaking hand in hers.

"God, it's all my fault. I'm so sorry. I shouldn't have been out. I know you didn't want me to be Spider Man, but you knew it was part of who I am. I'm so sorry. If I'd just listened. You told me to be home by 10 on school days. I should have been home. You wouldn't have had to drive to that stupid store to get medicine."

At this point I let my tears flow again. It was all my stupid fault that Aunt May was in a coma.

"I knew you weren't feeling well. If I had been back I could have gotten the medicine for you. Then you wouldn't have been in a stupid car crash and be in a coma."

I must have sat there for longer than I intended because a nurse popped her head round the door with a small sympathetic smile.

"Peter. I'm sorry but visiting hours are over and I can't risk letting you stay longer as I got caught yesterday and I don't really want to lose my job. Why don't you go home and eat something?" the nurse suggested and all I could do was give a small nod and painfully walk away from my Aunt.

I hated myself. Anger grew as I made my way back home. I felt too sick and angry to eat anything, so I decided the Spider Man was a better option. I quickly changed into the suit and jumped out of the widow into the cold night air. It was freedom.

"Good evening Peter." Karen greeted me.

"Hi Karen. Any activity?" I asked hoping that punching some people would help. It did. After stopping two burglaries, a fist fight between two drunkards and saving a poor girl from a sexual harasser who I managed to completely knock out in one swift punch the soft burn on my knuckles felt good. I felt less angry. The sadness remained but at least I felt better than I had for a while.

It suddenly started to rain but not wanting to go back to an empty home I took shelter on one of the balconies of an abandoned building. It must have been a block of flats as each floor had balconies one right under the other. I chose the second highest balcony not wanting to be in the rain but still up high.

"Hey Karen?"

"Yes Peter"

"How long will this rain last?"

"The weather reports expected a thunder shower this evening."

"Is this it or will it get worse"

"It is predicted to get worse"

"Okay. Lead me home" I wanted to stay out, but the cold rain wasn't going to be pleasant to spend all night in.

Once I arrived home I peeled off the suit and put on a pair of pajama bottoms and a loose t-shirt and headed to my desk deciding that homework would be a good waste of a sleepless night. That was until I saw my phone vibrating. I picked it up and saw a stream of messages I'd been ignoring since yesterday.

_Hey Peter. Want to hang out tomorrow?_

_I guess you're out as Spider man. I'll message tomorrow._

_Where are you?_

_Dude, the bells about to ring. I haven't seen you._

_Are you okay. I don't want to be rude, but you seemed angry today and kept ignoring me._

_I hope you'll feel better tomorrow._

_Morning. You want to tell me what's up._

_Nope okay. I'll see you at school._

_Dude why'd you leave running._

_Please just talk to me. I'm worried_

_It's not anything to do with Spider Man right?_

_Did you annoy Mr Stark again. I know he was pissed after the ferry incident._

_Dude. Come on speak to me._

_Please._

I sighed. I didn't want him to know what had happened. It was all my fault and he'd hate me and never want to speak to me again. I put someone in a coma and not just someone my Aunt. No one could know. I ignored Ned one more and just as I was flopping onto my bed to sleep away the sorrow and pain my stupid phone rung. I would have screamed and threw it against the wall had I not seen who was calling.

Why in the world was Mr Stark calling me on my phone. He'd never called me on my phone. Why did he call now of all times? I couldn't talk to him. I'd risk telling him the truth. Telling him I'd caused May to be in a coma because I was stupid enough to be Spider Man. He'd hate me and take away my suit and never returned it. If he took my suit away for nearly harming people during the ferry incident, then he'd absolutely take it away if he knew I'd put someone in a coma.

Panicking I slammed 'decline call' and slammed my face into my pillow trying not to tear up as I freaked out more and more. Then it rung again. Mr Stark was ringing me again. I knew I should answer. It could have been an emergency. What if he needed me as Spider Man. I'd been waiting since the Vulture for him to let me join him on a mission and now I couldn't stand the thought. Spider Man just hurt people. Spider Man put people in comas. I put people in comas. I answered the phone and held it my ear as tears escaped my eyes. I sniffled and tried to get it together as a voice rung in my ear.

"Peter Benjamin Parker. Change this call to video and tell my why the hell you didn't show up this afternoon and Happy saw you entering a hospital. A hospital that your Aunt is in." Mr Stark's harsh voice rung into my ear. That was all it took for the tears and sobs to flow uncontrollably.

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**That's it for Chapter one. Tell me what you think and again NO ENDGAME SPOILERS!**


	2. Chapter 2

**Hey guys. Wow! Thanks so much for so many views already! I can't thank you all enough! Please tell me what you think.**

**I've changed the cover image for this story as the lovely spiderstan_ on instagram gave me permission to use their art which I simply love. Please go follow them on instagram.**

**Enjoy chapter two!**

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**CHAPTER TWO**

**Peter's PoV:**

"Peter Benjamin Parker. Change this call to video and tell my why the hell you didn't show up this afternoon and Happy saw you entering a hospital. A hospital that your Aunt is in." Mr Stark's harsh voice rung into my ear. That was all it took for the tears and sobs to flow uncontrollably.

"I'm sorry. I'm so so sorry. Please don't be angry!" I begged now a sobbing and hiccuping mess. I didn't want to disappoint Mr Stark. He knew. He knew about Aunt May. He hated me. Why else would he call? He hated me and wanted to cancel the internship. "Please don't hate me. Please."

"Kid. Listen I do not hate you. Why would I hate you?" Mr Stark questioned. He sounded confused. Was he confused? I thought he knew. He said May was in hospital and Happy saw me there. He must have known it was all my fault.

"I'm sorry it's all my fault." I cried once more.

"Kid I don't know what's wrong but please video call me now." Mr Stark asked a hint of worry in his tone and all I could do was cry even more.

"Now!" Mr Stark shouted and I shakily pressed the video call button hiding the camera's view of my tear stained face by placing it face forward on my pillow.

"Kid. Come on. Look I'm not good at this but as May's not here I am." This would have usually helped me but there was only one word I focused on. May. May. I'd hurt Aunt May.

"Um… Kid just look at me okay. You don't have to show me your face but just look at me." Mr Stark begged and I numbly turned the phone over, so I could see Mr Stark but all he saw was my dark ceiling.

"Are you looking at me?"

"hmmm"

"yes?"

"yes." I quietly whispered trying to contain my tears and cries.

"Kid. I do not hate you. Tell me what happened. What's your fault?"

"I… I'm the reason May's in a coma"

"No, you're not."

"Yes, I am! It's all my fault and I put her in a coma"

"How? I know you wouldn't put your Aunt in a coma purposefully so tell me how?"

"No!" I cried

"No." Oh no. He was angry. I'd made Mr Stark angry. No. No. No. It was all going wrong. Aunt May in a coma, Mr Stark finding out and now angry with me. I freaked. My breath became short and rapid. I couldn't do this. I was a failure. It was all my fault and now I'd ruined everything.

"Kid! Kid!" Mr Stark was shouting now. "Stop. You're having a panic attack. Breathe. Match your breathing to mine. Come on. In then out. In then out." I slowly and painfully matched my breathing to Mr Stark's. My lungs felt like hell and every slow breath was painful. Eventually I was breathing normally again, and my crying had died down as well.

"You ready to speak to me properly face to face now." Mr Stark asked

"No. Not really" I replied slowly just wanting to go to sleep and ignore the world.

I heard Mr Stark sigh.

"Okay kid. At least try and tell me what's going on. I won't take no as an answer. This isn't the normal you kid. Tell me what happened."

"Okay." I sniffled

"Start at Wednesday. I know that's when it happened."

"If you know why ask?" I wondered

"I want to hear it from you. I can only know so much from my own research and I don't know. I want to know what's got you acting like this kid. Go from Wednesday."

"Wednesday. Okay. Um... Well I was stupid. I ignored May." My throat started to constrict and I tried to hold back another round of embarrassing sobs. "I knew... I knew she wasn't well. Fever or something but she insisted on working the late hours. She didn't tell me why but I saw holiday bookings on her table. I think... I think she wanted to give me a holiday. But I screwed it all up. I knew she wasn't getting home till late so I went out as Spider Man late. I ignored her stupid curfew and stayed out late."The tears began to roll own my face and I quickly rubbed at them trying to stop the tsunami of guilt. "I wasn't there. I wasn't there to help her and it's all my fault!" I wailed

"Kid. It's not your fault."

"Yes it is!"

"How did May end up in a coma?"

"I couldn't save her and it's all my fault"

"Were you the one to drive into her car?"

"No but I..." before I could finish and say it was all my fault Mr Stark raised his voice.

"No. It is not your fault. Yes she was ill enough to not be able to realise a car was speeding towards her but you were not the one to put her in a coma."

"but... but if I was there I could have gotten the medicine for her and she wouldn't have been driving. If I was there I could have stopped the crash. If I was.."

"I'll stop you there. May is in a coma but it is in not your fault kid. Trust me. Asking yourself 'if' won't change anything. I've been there done that. It only harms you and yes I'm one to speak but I want you to be better than me. I've said it before and I'll say it again. It is not your fault. Don't punish yourself for not being able to predict the future and know that your Aunt was gonna get hurt. Okay kid?"

All I could reply with was a small mumble of defeat as my heart and mind fought each other over Mr Stark or myself being correct.

"Say it kid. Say it was not your fault."

"It... It was not my fault." I slowly said and began to sob once again from a mixture of relief, embarrassment, anger and pain all tied fighting for dominance over my out of control emotions. I heard Mr Stark sigh on the other side of the phone. If not for my sensitive hearing I would not likely have been able to hear it over my crying.

"Look, kid I know you didn't want me to see you but I can't leave you alone and I promised May I'd look after you if she couldn't and this is one of those times." Mr Stark said, his voice a mixture of panic, strength and sympathy. "I'm sorry kid but you're gonna have to open up your door and let me in."

"What!"

"I'm outside your door Peter. Just let me in and I can help. Please. Please let me in kid."

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**Once again thanks for reading and tell me what you think!**


	3. Chapter 3

**Hey guys. Sorry it took me forever to update please don't hate me. I'm currently halfway through some of the most important exams in my life so sorry that I've kind of been M.I.A. Anyway here's a new chapter from Tony's PoV. Please tell me what you think. It'll hep me survive the weeks of hellish exams I have and thanks for all the support I've gotten from the previous two chapters.**

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**CHAPTER THREE**

**Tony's PoV:**

"I'm outside your door Peter. Just let me in and I can help. Please. Please let me in kid."

I had to persuade the kid to let me in. He blamed himself. that stupid, stupid kid blamed himself and now me, Tony frickin' Stark is outside his apartment in Queens. Again. Except this time there's no sweet, good looking Aunt to let me in. Now I relied on an emotionally distressed teen accepting me into their home in order for me to try and probably fail to provide any sort of help.

"Come on kid, please. I really don't want to beg, I've got the whole genius, billionaire, playboy, philanthropist motto to keep." I joked silently praying to what ever sentient being would listen, heck even Thor. I prayed for any God that at least a poorly made joke would get a better response from the kid who I had just spent the last few painful minutes listening to their cries of grief and wanting to stop them. I worked. Peter let out a small chuckle. Nearly silent but still there from the other side of the phone.

"Okay." Peter whispered. I heard shuffling of sheets and realised the kid was letting me in. I'd managed to get him out of his bed to let me in. Let me in to help. Help this poor heartbroken, grief-stricken teenage wreck that blamed himself for his Aunt being in a coma. He didn't deserve any of this but the least I could do was help. I didn't care if it ruined my reputation I'd give up all my money to make the kid happy. I wouldn't admit it but he'd grown on me. A lot. Heck I'd even introduced him to Pepper. I never introduced anyone to Pepper. No one was ever been significant enough for me to do so. Apart from Peter.

I heard the sound of a latch unlocking and tried to not cry out in relief that the door I'd been stuck behind, the barrier between Peter and me opening. It cracked open by a fraction, enough for me to know it was open and I heard Peter sigh slowly pushing a sob down and saw him walk back into his room as I slowly pushed open the door further. At least it was something. Sure I would've loved for the kid to let me in like usual with his huge cheesy grin and his ramblings about his latest school project with the smell of May making dinner for the three of us and sometimes Pep as well to share. That was the agreement. May found out about Peter's favourite night time wall-crawling activity and my unlimited well of funding I was helping him with (not that Peter had to know how much his suits cost) and the compromise was that Peter could continue if she could trust him and me. She wanted to trust me as a person before she trusted the tech I'd given Peter and she wanted to trust Peter to be at least sensible. Not safe, that was impossible as Spider Man but May wanted her nephew to at least be sensible. That's where the curfews had come from. Peter had ignored them and now he blamed himself for not only disobeyed his Aunt and his Aunt's current condition (which was not true. No matter what Peter said I knew that he didn't hurt May and it wasn't his fault).

I closed the door behind me and followed Peter to his room, finding him curled up on his bed.

"Kid, you shouldn't blame yourself" I began as I entered past his door frame.

"It's my fault. It's all my fault." Peter repeated again.

"No it's not Kid. Trust me I know why you think that but t's not true."

"Of course it's true. What would you know any way Mr Stark! It's not like you nearly killed your last surviving family member cause you're a big time screw up!" Peter screamed at me turning up to face me, tears streaming from his large brown eyes.

"No but I know the feeling of causing the death's of my relatives." I couldn't keep it back. I knew I shouldn't have said it but I did. No one knew and now I'd just told Peter.

"What?" Peter's eyes widened asking a million questions in a single stare.

I sighed slowly. I knew I had to explain. I didn't want to but I had to. I had to show Peter that he wasn't alone. Who else would be there to help him?

"On the day my parent's died I was with them before they went to the airport. Well, they didn't reach the airport but anyway that doesn't matter right now. All that matters is that I was refusing to wake up and say goodbye to them like a normal son should have. I spent years telling myself that my stupidity and laziness caused them to be running late for their flight and caused their car crash. I now know that I didn't kill them but it's not a story I'd like to tell. Just, I get it kid. The whole blaming yourself. I really do but that's where it all went even more downhill for me. I blamed myself and look what happened after. I was a mess, drunk every hour of the day, high on drugs, always angry and I hated myself. God, I hated myself so much. I told you I wanted you to be better than me. I still want that so please Kid, don't blame yourself. I know it's tricky to not but it wasn't your fault at all. Please don't become the old me. Please Peter." I took a large gulp of air in trying to calm my nerves and unexpected fright (I'd fought against aliens or God's sake but speaking about my parent's death and my past frightened me so much. Actually, scratch that. Speaking about my past and how it was mirroring Peter's present scared every cell in my body to the point I felt like I would implode). I didn't realise it but I raised my hand to my eyes and felt damp trails on my cheeks. I'd just cried in front of Peter. Well there went my reputation. I could see it in the news papers **_'Tony Stark, the billionaire who cried at a fifteen year old'_**

It didn't matter when I thought about it after. I'd just shard one of my most personal pieces of information with this Kid, I'd not even told Pepper and we're engaged. I told Peter because he needed to hear it. To hear he wasn't alone. I wasn't the best with emotions and certainly not qualified in making crying teenagers feel better but I wanted to stop Peter's sorrow.

"Does it ever stop hurting?"

"No, but it get's better and May will be better soon. I promise."

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**Thanks for reading. Tell me what you think!**


	4. Chapter 4

**Hey guys! **

**I've decided to do a shout out for the reviewers who give a review ending in 0 or 5 (so every 5th review)**

**So thanks a bunch to DarylDixon'sLover for the 5th review! **

**Hope you all like this new chapter! Enjoy!**

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**CHAPTER FOUR**

**Tony's PoV:**

It was going well. As well as you could expect a teen to be dealing with grief over his Aunt being in a coma that he blames himself for despite my continuous reminders that he was not at fault. So yeah. Peter was not doing well but it was expected. After two days of sleeping on the sofa in Peter's apartment I decided he needed to get away from his home for a bit. For all my awards and intelligence I don't know why it took my over 48 hours to realise that Peter might become more responsive and happy away from memories of his aunt.

I couldn't stand it either. It was like talking to a brick wall. I thought after he let he in physically he'd also let me in metaphorically and allow me to support him, despite however bad at that or human interaction I may be. All Peter did was sleep, eat whenever I practically forced him to and stare out of his bedroom window watching everything and nothing. He didn't speak to me and it was so unlike Peter. Where had the bubbly chatter-box nerd gone to? At least Peter hadn't gone straight to alcohol like I did. He was silent. I hated that but I couldn't blame him despite how annoyed it made me to see the kid fighting his internal mind battles. I couldn't blame him because when I blamed myself for things as a teen I also went silent towards people.

I'd made sure Peter stayed home on Friday. Heck, I even called his school to say he wouldn't come in. The receptionist didn't believe me when I said I said my name but after she believed it was me she asked a question I wasn't prepared for.

"Okay, Mr Stark but why am I getting this call from you? How would you even know Peter? I've heard about this whole internship thing but that's just a rumour. So why should I believe you know Peter yet alone decide if he's ill enough or not to go to school?"

That was when I kind of lost it.

"If you and that entire school think that Peter has been lying about his internship you're all severely wrong. He has an internship with me and is my personal intern. I'm the one calling because I'm the only one he's got right now as his Aunt's in a coma. An actual coma in the hospital. So I ask, why would a fifteen year old kid dealing with that go to a school where as you've so obviously proved to me, no one believes him." I ranted.

After that and a bit more complaining plus making a few threats at the secretary about revealing anything I'd just told her (I knew Peter wouldn't appreciate any more cause for worry plus he'd told me multiple times himself that he didn't want to be special at school) I got permission for Peter to stay at home. Of course half an hour later I realised that Friday was the final day of the school term before summer holiday so it wouldn't have even mattered all that much if Peter missed the day off.

By Sunday I'd realised that Peter could probably do with a change of scenery and better cooking than my own.

"Hey kid."

There was no response but there was a slight improvement. Peter looked away from the window and actually looked me in the eye.

"So I've decided that you need a get away. It's your summer holiday and I think a little get away would do you some good. So how about it?"

"No." Peter actually answered back and it took me a few seconds to process the fact that I'd gotten him to talk again.

"No? Why not? You need a distraction kid. Don't act like you don't. Trust me a little get away can solve a lot."

"Like what?"

"Like your polluted conscience."

"I can't go."

"Why not kid? Don't want to get a sun burn?" I joked

"No. I don't want to not be there if something happens to May."

"Nothing will happen to May. I've hired her the best care Queens Hospital can provide. We can visit her before we leave and right after we get back. Nothing will happen."

"You obviously never met the Parker luck."

"The Parker luck?"

"Whenever something good happens everything goes wrong. I'll leave to go on your little 'get away' and she'll... she'll die without me there." The kid started crying. Tears that I no longer thought he was capable of having due to the long hours at night when I'd listen to Peter cry but leave him alone to do so. I hated crying in front of people, still did so I let the kid have his privacy. I could at least give him that. I'd tried to stop the tears before and made it worse so I let Peter cry out his guilt every night whilst I planned how to make him happier.

"Well I don't believe in this Parker luck and May won't die. I promise."

It took a while but I persuaded Peter to go with me. I asked if he wanted to see Aunt May but he shook his head slowly and whispered quietly that he couldn't see her at that moment. I understood and packed a quick bag for him- if I forgot things I could always buy stuff for the kid. Then I drove him upstate. It was all I could think of at the time. A safe place without many people. I could keep him away from the Avengers that were still staying there but it would provide the kid with hundreds of distractions and distractions were needed.

"The Avengers Facility?" Peter asked when we rolled up in the drive. He seemed happy. I hoped he was.

"All I could think of but it's got hundreds of things for us to do." I smiled at the kid

"Us?" and there it was. The small thing he'd been missing. It was small but noticeable and i'd never admit it but it filled my heart with hope. A small smile. Peter smiled back at me.

"Of course. I have to make sure my favourite spider doesn't get lost on the ceiling."

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**Thanks so much for reading. Please follow and review- I love to know what you guys think and I'm very happy to take in ideas and suggestions for future chapters. **

**I've got a week off from my exams, hence why I'm updating but I do warn you guys that I might be M.I.A again for like three weeks because of my exams. **

**Thanks again for the massive support. As you all saw above I'm doing shout outs for every reviewer who's review ends in a 0 or 5 so feel free to review!**


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